The Bullet: Mysteries & Myths -
Don't just love but get to know your bullet more

- by B. R. Gurunandan


BULLET-TRIVIA

Still without means for photographs and diagrams, though things are looking promising now, we could have relaxed and twiddled our thumbs for a while. But, hey, how uncharacteristic of real Bullet-eers that would be! Nah, we are made of sterner stuff! We cock a snook at Murphy and Press On Regardless, right??

Yep. We take a break from the cyber-workshop this time, and go for a cross-country cyber-tour. Nothing like a relaxed ride away from maddening traffic for getting the mind into top gear for enjoying Bullet-eer-ing!

Right ! We make an early start on this cyber-ride, destination un-important, but the path is ! Any that is not frequented by the mobile boom-boxes, pretentious "SUVs", lumbering smog-generators, etc. The real "bad-lands", where only the Bullet-eers dare. ( But nice to test out your toughness on the familiar terrain of your computer before you risk your bike in the real wilderness, isn't it ! So check out your Bullet-Basics-Knowledge ! If you fail, don't ride alone yet ! )

You have just left the city limits behind you and the concrete jungle steadily turns green. The temperature is falling a bit. Slowly you observe that it is getting foggy. Quaint ! But wait, it is not fog, it's just your visor misting up from condensation of your breath. Oh. You raise the visor and are going to wipe the inside with your finger. Stop!

QUESTION #1: What exactly makes the visor fog-up? What should you really do to stop that from happening, atleast for a few hours? Remember this the next time!

You read once a discussion on some list about removing the muffler on long out-of-city rides, and stuffing some steelwool into the exaust-bend-tube when passing thru misc habitations. But...will it work for you? You have a standard 350 which has this funny quirk: when you decelerate from highway speeds, there is a loud "BANG" in the silencer ! Won't the steel-wool be blown out?

QUESTION #2: What could be the cause of this " BANG " ? Does this need a mechanic's attention?

Ooops, it definitely increases when the muffler is removed ! ( What could you do about that, short of replacing the muffler, of-course! ? ) You fearfully stuff in a lot of steel-wool and hope it won't land you in jail by beheading the following traffic. Anyway you don't expect much traffic on this route, so you take this chance. Surprise ! The " BANG " has vanished !

QUESTION #3: Not so surprizing to a school-student sincere with his physics ! Were you ? Then explain this observation !

Unexpected truck without lights tests your presence of mind and reflexes. As you recover from a near-spill at speed, you wonder if it was a wise idea to be influenced by Nandan's messages on Bulletech list and remove the leg-guard of your Bullet. It started people asking if your childhood ambition was to be in the Kamikaze Squadron. It is not too late, they said, just get married. Wise guys, eh? Jealous of the ease with which your Bullet blows their toys into the weeds ! But you are reluctant to fit the leg-guard back because of the higher mobility it's absence provides in city-traffic.
But is the risk worth it ? If you had actually fallen at speed, the foot-rest would have dug into the asphalt and the momentum of the bike twisted the engine in the open-frame. The head-steady lug would have cracked from the strain, but not before the cylinder-studs bent slightly. Slightly, but enough to make the cylinder-head almost impossible to remove the next time ! There is no "Puller" for the purpose, and the no room/ place to land a solid blow with a mallet.

QUESTION #4: How would you remove the cylinder-head in the circumstances ? ( Back in your workshop, after you recover from all your injuries ! )

You have had several hours of blissfull, eventless riding now, and it is getting time for breakfast+lunch. And well, you are also afraid the dry-ice around the beer-bottles might all evaporate off in this heat. Hey, no point taking needless risks ! You spot a clump of trees that afford some respite from this blazing heat, and you immediately pull over. You bite off the cap from the bottle and take a deep swig. Aaahh ! Life can't get much better than this ! But slightly, yes ! You grope in your pocket and find the pack of cigarettes. Then for the matchbox. The what !!! Oh, nooooo ! No point even searching for it. You clearly remember having left it on the garage shelf !

QUESTION #5: How do you light the cigarette now? ( Don't try breaking open a bulb and using it's filament, etc. It will flash off before you can draw on your cig to light it. And two filaments in series is not the answer either -no spare wire- and flashes around the gas-fumes from the tank in the sun ? Perish the thought ! ) So, how to light the cigarette?

Naaah, don't think of waving down a passing truck or car, because first of all, as I said, we were pretty much in the wilderness, where there is not much traffic. If you did by luck spot another vehicle, be assured it won't stop. Not, that is, unless you had been carrying the "right equipment" on the pillion, like the "Harley crowd". But, then, what beer ? what cigarette ? Sheesh ! Let us stay on the beam and just get this cigarette lit, eh ?
Even if you don't smoke.

It's now well after noon and the dry-ice is all gone. You buy some ice from a hotel in a village you were passing thru. When you are about to pop it into your beer, you notice some of the ice is transparent and some is white.

QUESTION #6: Are they the same ? Are they equally healthy ? What exactly causes the difference in colour ?

The road is getting worse, and the shock-absorbers are starting to really earn their cost ! Often they are "bottoming-out" on the bigger bumps and ruts. Hey, it is time for a preventive once-over. You already know from experience which of the fastners tend to work loose, but you take no chances! Starting from the front mudguard ( fender ) to the rear number-plate, you check the tightness of all the fastners. ( If you were constentious enough to assemble them with a thread-locker solution, you might smirk and omit this ) But the Chain ! Is it adjusted right ? You have always been driving on the smooth city roads, and never bothered about this.

QUESTION #7: What is the idea behind the chain-tension adjustment ? How will you check it now ? You don't want to take chances now. What is the "safe" setting ? What are it's disadvantages ?

But we are not thru with the chain ! Sometimes the chain seems to run with the same tension for weeks at a stretch ( heh, pardon that pun, I just couldn't resist ! ) But sometimes in the course of a single long tour, you can see a perceptible increase in slack !

QUESTION #8: Why is it so ? What causes chain wear ? How to minimise it ? What is the right maintenance for the chain ?

Now there is only some 2-3 hours of daylight left, and the roads are not going to improve for the next 200 KM ! Hells-Bells ! The state of charge of the battery is none too good, you know from the horn. If you could do something to increase the charging rate for the next couple of hours, the charge will last longer when you switch the lights on at the low speed that the road forces you to drive at.

QUESTION #9: How do you do that ? Tools you have are standard ones that came with the bike.

Now the light is getting rather bad and the roads worse ! You realize you have no spare bulbs ! If the headlamp conks out, it is night-halt in the wilderness for you. How to minimize the chances of that? You have these alternatives: As far as possible, drive without lamp, switching it on only in case of dire necessity untill it is really dark. Switch on the lamp and keep riding normally; bulb-filaments are designed to take shocks when white-hot too.

QUESTION #10: Well, switched or continuous light on rough roads?

By B. R. Gurunandan

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